The Book (Part 1) Matthew 22:14 (AMP) 14 For many are called (invited, summoned), but few are chosen.”

Preface

This is my story on how I overcame being a warrior for Satan to becoming a warrior for God; answering my predestined calling and fulfilling my purpose in this temporal world as a servant for God’s Kingdom. I pray that all who read this will be inspired to seek out their purpose in this temporal world and seek the blessings in spite of the trials and tribulations and testing that this temporal life can bring, In Jesus Christ name. Amen.

Jesus says that no servant is above their Master; and scripture informs us that He was mocked, spat upon, ridiculed, shamed, nailed to the cross and crucified, etc., beyond measures we could ever begin to imagine.

Today, I live my life in the FOG: Fear of God and Favor of God.

My Life in the Flesh

The Summer of 2008

The heart wrenching phone call from my mother

In the summer of 2008, I received a phone call from my mother, during this phone call my mother expressed her desire for God to take her home. She stated that she was tired; and too, that she no longer wanted to be a burden to her children.

This struck me to the very core of my being, I was hurt and immediately informed her that she should never have to feel as though she is a burden to any of us. Upon hanging up the phone, I broke down in tears, I was hurt and saddened by the fact that my mother felt this way. I knew I needed to move back home. I was also angry because in order for her to make such a statement, something had to bring her to this point.

Prior to my conversation with my mother, I had received several phone calls from my siblings informing me of her health and needing full time care. However, they each had their own story blaming each other for not carrying their load of responsibility.

I was informed that my mother had been approved for and received home health care, I later learned that my twin sister was responsible for the firing of several of the home health care providers because she did not agree with their methods of caring, in short, my twin needed to be in control and if one did not agree with her, then she exercised the power of attorney to fire them.

I had not long ago visited my mother and accompanied her on doctor visits in Houston, TX, she was diagnosed with lung cancer and during my visit I would go with her for the treatments, I don’t recall how many treatments or days, but I recall her having a graduating ceremony at the end of her treatments, the cancer was in remission.

Nonetheless, I discussed the matter with my son (18 yrs. old at the time and had just graduated high school), I made up my mind to move back home, from Glendale, Arizona to Mossville, Louisiana.

 Preparing to relocate from Glendale, Arizona to Mossville, Louisiana

I notified my job and gave notice, at the time I was working for the Maricopa County Sheriff Department and had just received my Associates degree in Criminal Justice, April 30, 2008, a second career choice.

I cashed out my 401K and sold everything. I knew that I would not be able to land a job and I would need these funds to live on until such time that I could possibly work. I guess I had just stepped out in faith. I was never one to attach myself to material things, never had qualms with having to start over.

In fact, I was on the verge of starting this new career, I had just recently quick deed my approximately 1400 sq. ft. home to my son’s father and rented a 500 sq. ft. one bedroom apartment. I gave the bedroom to my son and used the living room as my sleeping quarters.

My son and I were happy, we always had a close relationship, with the exception of puberty stages and I had to have his dad take over for about a year, I am smiling as I write this, on the premise that I was not good with discipline, yet I knew that I had to administer discipline as a parent. I was a softie, I would give in, and his dad was stern.

Although, the short-term separation proved to be good for both of us and after about a year my son moved back with me. And the decision was made that he would join me on the return to my childhood home to take care of my ailing mother.

The drive home was approximately 21 hours, I drove straight into Houston, TX, to pick up my mom. At the time she was living with one of my siblings, my brother Ronald and his wife.

I do not recall how long we stayed in Houston before leaving, but eventually, the three of us (me, my mother and my son) headed for my hometown, Mossville, LA.

On my arrival home, Mossville, LA, September 2008

On my arrival home, September 2008, I did not expect or anticipate what I was about to witness. We grew up in poverty, I recall someone asking me once when I worked at Wiesbaden Air Base, in Germany, if I had grew up in poverty. I recall telling him that I grew up in poverty, but that we were rich with love.

Nonetheless, I went to the back bedroom off the kitchen to place my luggage and as I walked into the bedroom, there was a molehill of cockroaches nestled together and they never even moved, they stayed there as if to say, “you are not welcome into our domain”.

I detest cockroaches, even to this very day and I have since ask God, why He created cockroaches! Yuck! However, I will speak more on these as I continue to share my story. Needless to say, I carefully removed my luggage and placed them in another room, I didn’t want these little creatures invading my luggage, smile.

As I started to inspect my mother’s home the condition of the home worsened. There were rotted potatoes under the kitchen sink with a hole there and the stench was horrible. The refrigerator had food molded and frozen foods were frost bit and outdated by years, not months or days, years. The same was with the canned foods in the cupboards.

The clothes hanging in the middle bedroom were infested with roach eggs that would crunch every time I removed them to get rid of them. The dresser draws and dresser were riddled with rat droppings, there was mold in my mother’s bedroom, on the walls. The living conditions were horrific, and I knew that we could not live there.

My initial instinct was to find an apartment and move in there, but that proved to be an issue because I did not have a job, all I had was the funds from cashing out my 401K and from the sale of all of my personal belongings.

But then God showed up in the midst of all this and I was informed that my Uncle Joe, my mother’s brother who had just recently passed away had purchased a brand new trailer home and no one was living there.

God is Amazing! Despite the fact that at this point in my life, I only knew “of God”, I did not know Him intimately.

However, my mother was a praying woman, she was a prayer warrior and so was my Uncle Joe. They would pray together, often times my mother prayed her rosary three times a day. I know this because she confided in me, especially when I would call her when I felt I needed a special prayer, but she would always tell me that she was always praying for me.

Preparing to move to My Uncle Joe’s Trailer Home, Sulphur, LA

I knew that my mother’s desire was to be back in her own home, but I explained to her that the living conditions was not conducive especially considering her health at the time, and my believing that my mother’s lung cancer was still in remission.

I contacted my cousin, my Uncle Joe’s daughter to make arrangements for us renting out the trailer. At the time I was thinking that this would be a temporary living status until we could clean my mother’s home making it livable. Keeping in mind too, that my funds were limited.

Upon reaching an agreement with my cousin, I informed my siblings of my decision and so we (my mother, my son and me) moved into my Uncle Joe’s trailer. Everything moved along just as if God had planned it this way. Glory Hallelujah!

I learned through the grapevine, family gossip, that my twin sister was not pleased with the fact that I had dumped out all of the old, dated food, that she was not pleased with my throwing out all of the clothing infested with roach eggs, that she was not pleased with my getting rid of some of the rat-infested droppings of the furniture. But oh well! I was now my mother’s caretaker, having her best interest and welfare at heart.

My Trials and Tribulations while caring for my mother

My mother received a monthly social security check in the amount of $500 plus dollars, so I decided that I would pay the rent out of my own funds and use my mother’s funds to pay the utilities, buy groceries and whatever personal bills she had.

All was going well, my mother and I got to catch up on a lot. We would sit out on my Uncle Joe’s deck at the trailer, visitors would come over and visit, all is well. I would play her some of my favorite songs and she grew a liking to Nora Jones, a very soulful singer. The calm before the storms.

I took my mother on one of her doctor visits and the doctor informed me that her condition was worsening, she was no longer in remission with the lung cancer, and she was in stage 4.

Rewind, upon picking my mother up from my brother Ronald, he informed me to not give my mother any pain meds every time she asked because it was his belief that she was becoming addicted to the meds and for this reason he refrained from giving her pain meds. So, it was evident that he was relying on his own ignorance.

The doctor informed me that my mother had missed several of her follow up appointments and this resulted to the return of the cancer. My siblings failed to do their part in keeping up with her doctor visits.

A short time after this doctor visit, my mother got worse, and I took her to the emergency room and it was at this visit that they informed me that she needed to go into hospice care. I conveyed this news to all of my siblings and other family members and friends. One might think that this would be a time for all to join forces, unite, come together allowing my mother to go in peace, in glory.

But that was not the case; however, my twin sister who had been estranged from the rest of the siblings started to visit us at the trailer. She would bring us food, treats and sometimes she purchased an outfit for me.

Then I learned through the grapevine, that my twin sister, who had the power of attorney to oversee my mother’s affairs had just recently received and cashed a Federal Government issued check in the amount of $18,000 plus dollars for home repairs due to damages stemming from one of the recent hurricanes that had hit the area.

Not one dime of these funds ever went to the renovation of my mother’s home. And pouring salt into the wound, my twin sister and older sister went to my mother’s bank and closed it barring me any access to her direct deposit funds from her monthly social security check. So now I had to use my dwindling funds to pay for all of my mother and I and my son’s living expenses.

But here is God yet again, in the midst of it all, my godmother (Rose) and cousin Rufus would come over and they would give me $100 dollars here and there; and too, at the time I was paying back a loan that I owed to my son’s father and he in turn forgave the loan so that I could afford to pay our living expenses. Isn’t God great! And too, as I reflect back and despite the fact that I only knew “of God” then, and still He never forsaken me.

The Next Storm (My son was diagnosed with a detached retina, emergency surgery)

My son, unbeknownst to me at the time was experiencing difficulties with his eyesight, but he did not want to worry me due to the fact that I was dealing with so much as it related to the care of my mother and the dysfunctional demeanor of my siblings.

There were days when I would go into a closet or the laundry room and just weep uncontrollably, but I did not want my son or my mother to witness this. I would pray and ask God to please help and sustain me, to get me through this. There were times when I would hyper ventilate, often times from anger and disbelief on the magnitude of my sibling's cruelty, just cruelty without any basis for it, other than wanting to be in control. Never asking what can we do for you, how can we help you?

Oh wait a minute, my brother Ronald did buy me a gallon size bottle of brandy, yeah! That’s right, he did, this is me being sarcastic, smile. Now granted, at the time, when my mother was down for the evening, I rather enjoyed sipping that liquid gold which I now refer to as Satan’s liquid gold spirit of venom. My eyes have been opened. Hallelujah!

Back to my point, upon taking my son to the eye doctor, the doctor informed me that my son was experiencing a detach retina and that if he did not get immediate eye surgery, he could go blind. WHOA!

I was in a bind, my vehicle did not have working windshield wipers and I needed to drive from Sulphur, LA to Lafayette, LA for his emergency eye surgery, an hour’s drive. I made a few phone calls to family members, but to no avail.

But! God showed up yet again! Yes! The neighbor next door to my Uncle Joe’s trailer home, I’m smiling, had been eyeing me when I would go out on the deck in the mornings to drink my coffee, or in the evenings when I go out to sit and think, my quiet time. However, I was not looking for a relationship, I was single, and a relationship was the furthest from my mind.

But he knew that I had trouble with my windshield wipers and so he offered to have someone come and take a look at them. So, as I recall I told him about my needing to go to Lafayette for my son’s emergency eye surgery and BAM! No questions asked other than when do we need to leave, and it was done. God is Amazing!

My son got the surgery he so desperately needed; and too, I have to say it, God showed up here again, because my health insurance had expired, I needed to pay cash for the doctors in Lafayette to even see him and so, my son’s father, stepped up again and paid all expenses, Glory Hallelujah!

I LOVE YOU GOD!

Now despite the trials and tribulations, there were a multitude of blessings. Home health care 2000 accommodated me with someone to come in eight hours a day to help with my mom; and too, the hospice care person was a Christian, strong faith and had encouraged me to visit her church.

Meanwhile, my twin sister came and sat with my mother during the time I was accompanying my son for his emergency eye surgery. All glory to God, we made our way back home to my Uncle Joe’s trailer and my care for my mother and my son was my main focus and objective.

As visitors came and went, many of whom would tell me constantly God is going to bless you for what you are doing, looking back now I am continuously being thankful and grateful because while I leaned on God, I know too there were times, because of my actions and my words, I was leaning on my own understanding, in short, Satan was reaping some of that glory.

The Next Storm

On one of the visits from my siblings: my brother Ronald, my older sister Catherine, and my baby brother Jeffery, things took a turn for the worse. You see, I knew that my older sister had issues with my seeing the man next door, she was judging me. Through the grapevine, it was said that she could not come to visit like she wanted to because she did not want her husband, Edward, to think that she too was fooling around.

For me, that was nothing but hogwash, seriously! My relationship with the man next door had nothing to do with her coming to visit my mother, this was yet another means of an excuse for her to not be imposed upon.

I knew that she had plotted with my twin sister to bar me from any access to my mother’s funds. I resented her on the premise she is my mother’s oldest daughter and lived the closest to my mother and yet she refused to take part in caring for my mother. She is a loner, caught up in her own darkness. A church goer, maybe three times a week, but yet there was nothing about her that was Christ like, I can never see Jesus in her. She has always struck me as someone being phony, a fraud, pretentious.

God has since shown me how so many of His children go to church, some several times a week, but they are still standing in the outer courts, they are not plugged in, there is a disconnect.

My mother’s home should never have been in the condition that it was in. My mother’s feet were caked with dead skin so thick it is a wonder to me how she was able to walk on them. I saw my oldest sister as a coward, not a leader, not a follower, just selfish, heartless, and soulless. Her only ever true love is for her husband, this is the only person who she could or would ever go the extra mile for. She could never see the forest for the trees. So, I shunned her, I resented her for the lack of care she gave to our mother. So, one day she came to visit our mother and I refused to let her in, I sent her away, but then my heart soften she came back on another day.

          The 911 Call to remove family members from my home

On this day, as I recall it was a holiday weekend my brothers Ronald and Jeff and my oldest sister came to visit our mom, or so they said. I was guarded, so much had unfolded, and resentment was fuming from all angles. As I recall, my brother Ronald who’s pompous, arrogant, big ego, prideful, and accustomed to taking the leadership role of the family, but at everyone’s expense, his way or the highway so to speak.

On this day, he attempted to chastise me, first verbally and then physically. I do not recall the extent of it, but remember, I detest bullies, and I detest being chastised. You cannot attempt even to restrain me because I will go ballistic and on this day, he attempted to chastise and restrain me, but I was equipped with the strength of an ox, he is about six feet plus, but he was not successful in his attempt. There was God again, giving me the strength of an ox to withstand my brother’s means to overpower me.

Next, I was reaching for the phone to dial 911 and my baby brother came eye to eye with me threatening to knock my lights out if I did not put the phone down. I said OK, but you make sure those lights do not come back on, then my son, who had just had eye surgery stood between us with a baseball bat and commanded him to step away from me.

My oldest sister was where she needed to be, outside. My uncle Charles and his sons showed up, praise God again, they were in my corner, and I think I caused his back to be injured in my moment of ballistic demeanor.

Nonetheless, law enforcement arrived and my calm and peace were returned. You see their visit was a ploy, they were not there to visit my mother at all, they were there to lay down their demands of how things would go, they wanted me to know that I was not in charge they were.

Later, I found out that my older sister and my twin sister had contacted my cousin whom I was renting from demanding that she put down ground rules as to who I could and could not see while renting from her. Ignorance is truly bliss! Right!

In the midst of all of this I was working on my bachelor’s degree, majoring in Psychology, online classes with the University of Phoenix. However, I was fighting and battling so many wars, I had to walk away from my schooling. Happy to say, I have no regrets, because now I get to work full time for the Kingdom of God our Heavenly Father, as a travailing and intercessory prayer warrior.

At this point, let it be noted that I was still in the flesh. I often wonder what it would have been like had I been in an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. Psalms 37:23 states: “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He delights in his way.”
 

The Next Storm – (The Summoning of The Sulphur Sheriff Department to have my mother removed from my care.)

Sometime later, I received notice from the Sulphur Sheriff Department that my twin sister was exercising the temporary power of attorney to remove my mother from my care.

The sad truth is that not one of my siblings cared enough about my mother’s welfare to inquire about how she was doing. Their only goal and objective were that they wanted to play the role of dictators, they wanted to tell me how and what they thought I needed to do. They wanted control, but they did not want the responsibility and they each had their own agenda: what to feed her, how to position her in bed, what she should watch on television, if I should let her sit out on the deck or not, who could and could not visit her and etcetera.

But they underestimated me, they remembered me as the loving, caring, and giving sister. Always willing to please everyone, even at my own expense, but truth be told, this was my mother, our mother’s welfare; and too, I had the misfortune of witnessing the filthy living conditions in which they had left her to live alone in on many occasions.

The health care providers from previous had spoken to me and told me a lot of things that had transpired, in fact one of them spoke at my mother’s grave site and she pinpointed each one of us and how she saw us in our faults and in our good deeds and bringing up the fact that my mother was in joy and happiness once she knew that I was on my way, relocating back home, to take care of her. There was God again, in the midst, using His appointed vessels for His purpose.

Moving on, on the day that the Sheriff department came to remove my mother out of my care, there was not an ambulance, just my twin sister and my nephew, my Brother Ronald’s son Joey. The Sheriff’s Officers informed me that they were not at liberty to assist with moving her.

So, my twin and my nephew lifted up my mom with her feet and legs dangling, unable to keep her oxygen mask on her and put her into the vehicle and drove away.

This was an act of power, control and greed. If my mother’s welfare was their number one priority, they would have arranged to have her taken with dignity, they would have arranged for an ambulance to assist in the move.

The neighbors in this small community were all standing out watching, but they knew what I was up against. They had witnessed it all, and they all knew my mother, my entire family in fact. There were no strangers among me in this community. In fact, some of them were kinder and more generous than my own siblings, nieces and nephews. They offered their assistance they were willing to give of their time, their food, their funds they were Christ like.

I learned later that my siblings and nieces and nephews had all pooled together in an attempt to make desperately needed repairs and cleaning to my mother’s home. It was a last-ditch effort but to no avail.

God showed up yet again! Within a day, maybe two, He had taken her home to be with Him.

The Prophetic Blessing

Upon learning that my mother would be removed from my care, I went to her in her state of dying, she was in a vegetable state, and I said my goodbyes to her. I told her what was taking place; and that I loved her, but that I was happy for her because I knew that her time here on the earth was limited.

My mother bolted straight up, in a sitting position and she said to me, mom want to thank you for giving up your life, in Arizona, to come here and take care of me. She said God’s going to bless you shah. And then she laid back down.

Reflecting back, I now know that it was the power of the Holy Spirit that manifested in her giving her the strength to sit up and say what she said, a prophetic blessing from my mother on her dying bed. All Glory to God!

Looking back, I see Him (God) in the midst of it all! I see the blessings, I see Satan’s agents, but I am an overcomer, God delivered me from that ugliness, has forgiven me for my shortcomings even then, empowered me with the strength of an ox when I needed it, lifted me up when I was in a broken state of mind, and I persevered too, I kept leaning on Him, asking, seeking and knocking, but I was seeking the right things too. I was asking Him to help me through it all, so that I could be the best caregiver for my mother. Looking back now, I may have resented my siblings, but I didn’t hate them, I could have easily hated them too, but I didn’t and still to this day, I love them. I recognize even more so now, the bait of Satan, the enemy in their inner me. I can gladly say he, the devil and his agents, were defeated, at least from my point of view.

Note Worthy: My mother passed away on December 20, 2008, a day or two days after she was removed from my care, approximately three months after I returned home to care for her. She too was a prayer warrior, and God had sent His Angels to be at my side and at her side and still to this day He is walking this earth with me via the Holy Spirit.

Reminiscing – Needing a Sense of Normalcy

After the death of my mother, December 2008, my relationship with my siblings, some nieces and nephews, cousins and in-laws were in turmoil, damaged.

I uninvited my twins self-imposed invite to spend some nights with me at my Uncle Joe’s trailer. During this time, I found the canceled check stub of the $18,000 plus dollars, in her possession, which she had received and cashed and used to her own discretion and personal pleasures.

None of these funds were used to renovate the family home; and I was reminded yet again of the selfish acts of my twin and the disrespect of the many years that she had taken advantage of my mother’s kindness. So I packed up my twin's belongings put them on the deck and had one of her son’s come and retrieve them. She claimed to be there with me as a part of my support system, but she was there to deceive and to judge me, there was nothing honorable or of good intentions, I needed to part ways, I needed to heal, I needed to get my life back, to return to a sense of normalcy of the life that I was accustomed to: love, joy, peace and happiness.

In January of 2009, I started working for my cousin Rufus, he owned his own car detailing business, 40 plus years. I started doing some bookkeeping and full detailing of the vehicles, inside and out. I loved it! It was physical work, professional detailing for car dealerships and private citizens too.

In October of 2009, I wanted something more, something in the arena of which I was accustomed to, an office job, so I started working at LA Pipelines and Supply. My life was starting to get back to a sense of normalcy.

My family ties were still strained, I remained guarded and limited my visits with them. I still did not fully trust them, I had witnessed and lived through their means of vindictiveness, I got to see the ugly within each one of them, the same ugly which I feel my mother seen at a time when she needed them the most and they had deserted her.

As a survivor, I knew just how to do that, you see I moved away from home the first time around the age of 14 to live with my brother Larry (now deceased) and his wife and kids in Houston, TX.  My father passed away when I was 14, my brother Ronald moved back home, he was raised by one of my mother’s brother and his wife, My Uncle Rufus and Aunt Alice and we immediately clashed upon his return, he wanted to be the man of the house, but I did not need a father, I did not need someone trying to step into that role of fatherhood, I had lost that, never to be replaced.

My twin became pregnant at the age of 14 just after my father died and this was the beginning stages of our relationship being severed. At the age of 18 I moved to Phoenix, Arizona to live with my uncle and Aunt. At the age of 21 I was married to my first husband, moved to Philadelphia, then to join my husband in Mainz, Germany for about 3 ½ years, then back to Philadelphia, PA for about 2 ½ years then Laurel, Maryland, for a short time and after a broken marriage, I got on a train and moved to Phoenix, Arizona in November 1987 and lived there for 20 plus years then back home in September 2008 to care for my ailing mother.

You see, I knew survival, I knew how to detach from family, the best relationship I ever had with them was when I lived away from them. So, I contemplated moving back to Arizona after the death of my mother, but then God showed up again, yes, He did and in a big and mighty way.

The Day I met my now husband, Michael P. Abele

In April of 2010, the year of my 50^th birthday, the week of my celebrating my 50^th birthday I went to a restaurant with one of my dearest friend, her name is Jeral.

I woke up and looked outside and my yard was plastered with white signs hung by thin metal rods saying happy 50th birthday, April 7, 2010. Announcing to the community that I was 50 and it was my birthday.

I was elated with joy, my friend Jeral, had planned, orchestrated, took time to do up all these signs and planted them in the front yard of my Uncle Joe’s trailer. God knows how to use His vessels, His obedient servants to bring joy, love, peace and happiness.

Jeral and I went to Tony’s pizza for dinner and while in the lobby waiting to be seated, I was perusing over the different candies, like a child, amused by the candies that was bringing back childhood memories of those candies I use to enjoy as a kid.

I looked up, and there was Michael, behind the counter on the phone taking orders. He winked at me, I winked back, smiled and the rest is history in the making, still to this very day. Little did I know that this was the beginning of an intimate relationship with the man who would introduce me to The Holy Spirit, of whom, I had little knowledge of at the time. This is why I say, God showed up yet again, saying:
 

A scripture from Jerimiah 29: 11-14

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.^[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Needless to say, my thoughts of moving back to Glendale, Arizona dissipated. I had a planned weekend to spend at Lauberge Casino in Lake Charles, LA with my twin and friend Jeral; however, I did invite Michael to meet me at one of the lounges. We had exchanged phone numbers, but I was still moving with caution. He came, we had cocktails, and we talked and parted ways.

Recall, I am celebrating my 50^th birthday, I find out that Michael is 35 years old, a fifteen years difference, right! I’m thinking, God, this is a huge gap in age here, really! I have no room for more drama in my life at this point. The neighbor guy next door, I wrote him off because he was becoming jealous and controlling, so I severed ties with him, just gave him a tongue lashing with my usual agenda: to cut one knee-high to a grasshopper. And, he was an older guy, perhaps about 15 years older.

Reflecting back, God and His sense of humor was probably saying work with me here. The next door neighbor guy, he was a fan of God, he would watch Christian channels on TV, but he was by no means as acquainted with God as Michael.

Michael had knowledge of the Word of God, he knew the bible and this intrigued and impressed me. But still, I moved cautiously. And I was still living in the flesh, the horizontal plane, no real inclination that God was tugging at me.

The Invite to My Family Reunion

2010, I received an invite to my Family’s Reunion; orchestrated by two of my nieces, my brother Ronald’s daughter and my twin sister’s daughter. I was skeptic, still feeling the need to be distant. I had learned through the grapevine, family gossip, that there was still some meddling into my personal life. At this time Michael and I started to see each other frequently and it was rumored that my siblings had made another attempt to have my cousin who was also my landlord to put conditions as to whom I could and could not have staying with me at my Uncle Joe’s trailer, but to no avail. After all, I was a tenant, my rent was being paid on time; however, this did move my cousin to the point of increasing the amount of rent that I was paying her. No problem, I obliged, I could afford it, and I had a decent job making decent pay.

Nonetheless, I attended the Family Reunion, it was nice, it was pleasant, but a number of my family members did not attend on the premise they were not yet over the ordeal that my siblings had put me through. Looking back there was some harboring of unforgiveness, but on my behalf.

Michael attended the reunion with me, we stayed for a reasonable time and then said our good byes, and they all got to meet Michael.
 

The Next Storm - My attempts to move out of my Uncle Joe’s trailer into my family home, my mother’s home.

After my mother’s death the family home remained empty for quite some time. On occasions I would go and mow the lawn and do some minor up keep on the property. I decided, why not move back there, it would be rent free, all I needed to do was pay for the utilities, so I did just that. I gave my cousin notice that I would be leaving my Uncle Joe’s trailer, there was no lease agreement, just a verbal month-to-month lease.

Michael and I relationship started to get steady, we were spending a lot of time together; and, I found out that he used to own his own contracting business in West Virginia. He had a website and some before and after pictures of various home improvements that he had done and I was wowed!

So, my plan was to move home and use my weekly pay to start doing some much needed home improvements.

The first time I attempted to move back, on a day when the weather was hot and clammy with an overcast. That first night, the cockroaches started to inundate the house. They were everywhere, floor to ceiling. As fast as my son and I would kill them they started to multiply. I was out of there so fast, moved right back into the trailer.

Sometime later, my uncle Charles, so I was told had went and sprayed the place. So Michael and I would go spend nights there; and too, I had discussed with him my plans to do some home improvements and I would use his services to do them.

My second visit from the Sulphur Sheriff Department

One morning, while out and about in the backyard of my family home, the Sulphur Sheriff Department arrived, found me in the wash house located in the back of the property. They informed me that they had received a phone call stating that there was a white man trespassing on the property and that they were there to remove him.

I chuckled and I asked who made the call, they gave me my twin sister’s name, Ms. Brenda Steve. I politely and respectfully informed them that it was a mistake, a bogus phone call. I told them who I was and that Michael, the white man, the trespasser was my friend and that he was there at my request, my invite. So they made an apology and they left.

The Continuance of my Family Saga - The Return of the Bad

and the Ugly

Later on this same day, one of my niece in-laws showed up, she was there to remove some of the furniture in the home, apparently at my twin sister’s request. The word got out that I had been staying there periodically with this white man.

It was evident by my niece in-law’s demeanor and well wishes that she had been lured in to the next plot that would unfold as it related to moving me out of the family home. She wished me good-luck, stated that I was going to need it. Her name is Janet, I really liked her, but she showed me her dark side that day, so I kept my distance, not out of fear but merely on the premise people with a dark side to them, a subtle deviousness, they are easily lured as Satan agents.

At the time I was working for LA Pipelines; and too, I still had my Uncle Joe’s trailer paying the rent; and too, my son was living there still.

My final exit from my family home

A few days later, I got off work and as I drove onto the street of my family home, the street was crowded with vehicles and relatives: some siblings, some nieces and nephews, cousins, and in-laws, approximately 15 to 20 of them. I exited my vehicle, went to let myself into the house and the locks had been changed. I knew that something was a midst, they were not there to visit, they were there with an agenda, another evil plot to say you are not welcome in this family.

I proceeded to leave, no questions asked, I said I just want to get my belongings and then I am out of here. My baby brother came to let me in the house and proceeded to give me a key, I refused it, I said no, I don’t want it and I will not need it. I was done, finish!

I found out later that they had been watching me, my goings and comings, what time I got off, what time I went home. They had watch dogs, Satan’s agents in the flesh keeping tabs on me so that they could change the locks and remove whatever furniture they felt the need to remove.

One day, I went to the post office and I ran into my twin and my older sister, I found out later that they were there to transfer all the mail going to my mother’s home so that they could retrieve it. By this time, I had paid the utilities deposit and had them transferred into my name. I thought, at the time that all was well with us, I never once thought that they were still up to their evil plots of deceitfulness. I had moved on, but they had not moved on.
 

I had good intentions for the family home

I had good intentions, I had plans to renovate the property using my own funds. I had plans to put together a letter outlining what my plans were, I had all intentions of including my siblings, but, I never got that far,  because I was still working on my plan of action; such as, what it would entail to get the work done. I had contacted roofers, people to relevel the house because I was told that that was one of things that needed to be done.

Looking back now, God had showed up yet again, because who knows the evil plot of Satan but God, who knows the evil heart of the human but God. And I thank God, because as it turned out there is a company by the name of SASOL who had been looking into purchasing all properties in the Mossville area for the expansion of a plant. I’ll tell you more about this later.

Needless to say, my heart was always in the right place, deceitfulness, greed, and control and power are not attributes to accurately describe my character. However, I persevered I walked away and never really looked back, one thing for certain is that my relationship with my siblings would continue to be tarnished, we are indifferent on so many levels and it is evident that they walk in strife and bitterness living the lie of forgiveness. They had an agenda, I had reduced them to the level of not simply wanting revenge, but needing revenge, and they would not stop, regardless of what it would cost them.
 
But then God showed up again! Michael and I decided to further explore our relationship. We decided to move into his family home, together and with my son, Latif. And this was the beginning of my relationship with getting to know The Holy Spirit. God had sent me someone who could light that fire of hunger for Him.

One of the beautiful aspects of my relationship with Michael is that he too, had moved back home to care for his mother and sister after the loss of his father in June of 2009. His father was an ordained minister, I later found out that he too, had a great passion for our Heavenly Father. Michael and I have many things in common; equally important, we are both loving, caring and giving individuals. We are not perfect by any means, we have our flaws, but we are equally yoked, connected, intertwined with that passion for God: The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit, iron sharpening iron.

Really! How can one not love God! All one need to do is reflect back, be still and see the good even in the midst of all the bad, ugly things, the evil plots of Satan. Counting our trials and tribulations as joy. Jesus suffered too, and Jesus tells us that no servant is above their master. But yes! God was still at my side, he was saying you need not run no more. I got you! I got you!

My mother, Lord bless her, all those years of praying, saying her rosary three times of day, every day in prayer in a relationship with God, The Trinity, he was with her until her last breath and still today taking care of me, with an entourage of Angels to protect me. And the beloved Holy Spirit leading me each day, one day at a time. The Prophetic Blessing!

The Fall of 2010 Michael and I moved into his family home

At last, I was in my own little safe haven, free of the threats an attempts to move me out of my family home; and too, my cousin had conveyed to me that she was looking into selling My Uncle Joe’s trailer. During this time, Michael’s family home was vacant, the tenant had moved out so Michael and I along with my son and one of my first cousins decided to move into the home.

At this point my family relations was still strained, I was cautious about my interacting with them for good reasons too. I knew that the fact that Michael was white, that there was some reservations about him being fully accepted by my family on the premise the race card had been played a number of times.

Reflecting back, neither of us permitted race to be an issue moving forward in our relationship. We did not see skin color, we have a lot of love and respect for each other, and we are lovers of God, Christ like. And my son certainly did not have any qualms, we were together and that was what was important. Eventually, my son relocated back to Glendale, Arizona, and this is still where he currently resides.

My family drama; sadly, continued to unfold. My twin sisters mental state started to become an issue, especially after her husband past in 2011, I believe that is the year of his death.

Because of her illness, depicting symptoms of bi-polar paranoid schizophrenia she continued to make false police reports; only I was not her only victim, there were others: her children, her neighbors, relatives and etcetera. Some of her false claims against myself and her children were on the basis that we had stolen her prescribed pain medications as a means to have a police report in order for to have her prescription refilled.

In the summer of 2013 my twin sister’s kids came to me requesting my help in an intervention to help with their mother, this was the first time they were reaching out to me to help them and so I obliged, it was at this time my twin sister’s behavior really started to get out of control. She was becoming verbal and mental abusive towards her daughter and son Travis, he was still living at home at the time. The relationship proved to be dysfunctional in an extreme manner.

In August 2013 I sent the following letter:

August 16, 2013
 
Dear Brenda,

This letter serves to address matters of grave concerns relating to your mental state. Based on the information which I have recently been informed of these past few weeks, I find that your behavior is that of a disturbed person in need of a mental evaluation and counseling. You are in grave need of a psychiatric evaluation and detoxification from the years of abusing pain medication coupled with all possible side effects that these medications are attributed to.

I am afraid for you (not of you) and I hold deep concerns for the way you are abusing your kids, despite the fact that they are grown; your actions have placed them in a dysfunctional oriented environment for most of their lives. You are a disgraceful human being, mother, grandmother and sister. You are robbing yourself of a relationship with your kids and grandkids.

I pity you, I feel sorry for you, and the demons within you are not that of the twin sister I grew up with. I don’t know this person which you have become.

Note: Your kids reached out to me for help in dealing with you. Travis stated to me that he has contemplated suicide, he does not want to live anymore and he stated to me that he even shared this with you. I am fully aware of so much more than this letter will address.

I am aware of the drastic measures you have taken to enlist law enforcement, your neighbors, friends and family members into believing that you are a victim of mischievousness; such as being stalked, having your telephone numbers giving out so that people can call you and breathe over the phone.

I have confirmation that you contacted the Lake Charles Police Department claiming that Kenia and I had given your phone number out to strangers having them stalk you and calling and breathing over the phone. I am also aware of what the Officer told you in response to such false allegations.

I contacted the City of Lake Charles Police Department and they dispatched an officer to my home on Friday, August 9, 2013, he confirmed that you had in fact called them on August 5^th claiming that Travis had stolen your medication, jewelry, and etcetera. 

I am aware that you made reference to the fact that Travis brought the jewelry to me to sell at my garage sale, a sale that never took place on the said time and date which would have been Saturday, August 3, 2013.

I am aware that you are claiming that you had the “so called phone number traced” and that it was traced back to me, another false allegation.

I am aware of the false allegation you made to the LCPD towards your deceased husband’s nephew claiming he was stalking you.

I am aware of you writing checks against Travis’s bank account without his consent, yet denying doing so despite the cancelled checks which the bank provided him.

I am aware that Travis gave you money for bills, yet the electricity nearly got turned off because you neglected to use those funds for the electric bill.

 These are all false allegations and I find it rather disturbing that you would take extreme measures such as contacting law enforcement to be party to these shenanigans.

 I took the liberty of informing the LCPD that you are not well, you are mentally disturbed and have many years of addiction to prescribed drugs. I made them aware that you recently suffered a mini stroke which may have impaired your mental state further.

Your demeanor is acts of a disturbed mind, a demented human being obviously suffering from one or all of the following: Bi-polar, Dementia, and/ or Paranoid Personality Disorder. It is apparent that your years of abusing prescription drugs have reduced you to this dysfunctional state of being.

I am aware that you have contacted Bernard, Latif’s dad, thus making false allegations to him about me, not sure why and what you expect to gain from him, but I guess in your demented state you feel justified.

This is what I am going to do for you, I am having all the text messages which you have sent to me, Kenia, Travis, Joshua and Thomas printed out. I am requesting a record of all the false allegations you have made to the LCPD and SPD, I intend to gather all of this information to use as a means to get you help, even if it has to be Court Ordered.

Your demented behavior is getting progressively worse each day; I find that you are an endangerment to yourself and others. I love you despite of the demons within you, but I do not like you at all.

If necessary, I will file for a restraining order against you, and I will take measures to file a civil lawsuit against you for character assassination and false allegations. I will subpoena all the people you have made false allegations to about me and your kids. Enough is enough!!!!

I firmly request that you cease all false allegations against me and your kids; however, I will continue to document and make a record of all negative verbal and written information that you continue to share about me and your kids as a means to use in a court of law.

There are laws against character assassination resulting from false allegations, and I am not settling for any more of your lies and I intend to hold accountable those who continue to permit you to make these false allegations against me and your kids.

I am forwarding a copy of this letter to all parties I deem necessary and to those whom I feel should have input on what is happening and what my intentions are towards getting you help.

Sincerely,

 Linda Fontenot
Cc: All Siblings, Your Neighbors, Family Members, Alice Jordan (Madee), your in-laws
Encl.  Please find a copy of a document which defines the symptoms of Paranoid Personality Disorder.

Moving On

Unfortunately, my niece and nephews did not follow through with their role of their seeking me out for this intervention and my remaining siblings decided to take a different approach, of course, excluding me. I was still the black sheep, the scapegoat. Let’s get Lynn to do the dirty work and we will clean up; making themselves look like her victors I guess, I am really not sure, but what I do know is that my heart was in the right place.

God’s word says that we are the salt of the earth; Matthew 5:13, and sometimes salt has the stinger effect if poured into a wound. This was a situation that needed to be addressed with the stinger effect, I was not going to sugar coat the matter; however, I knew enough even then to know when to add flavor or when to preserve. My twin sisters actions and demeanor were detrimental; to herself and those whom she made these false police allegations against.

In short, God had showed up again! We are the product of our actions and words, reaping what we sow. So many times, I recall my mother saying those exact words to my twin sister, even at the tender age of 14 years old. My mother had just lost her husband, our father, in June of 1974 and not long after that my twin sister became pregnant.

Reflecting back, I can see the acts of a generational curse that was unfolding. What my twin sister had done to my mother over the years would serve to catch up with her through her own daughter, only I would be the one whom God would use to bring this matter, the generational curse, to the light.

The beginning of the generational curse expounding against my twin sister:

Something in me was changing, I started to see things in a different light. My relationship with Michael was solid, I was happy despite all of the turmoil that was about to unfold. I could not see at the time what was about to come to pass, but I knew that I needed to take a different approach as it related to my relationship with my siblings, some nieces and nephews.

Meanwhile, there is yet another family gathering, a crawfish boil to be hosted at my family home and Michael and I and his mom and sister were invited. Another family event where dissension would rear his ugly face. The evening is young, I had just got off work from Kmart and it appeared that the crawfish boil was just getting under way.

Michael and I had contributed a sack of crawfish, and immediately upon my arrival one of my then sister-in-law summoned me for a private meeting. During this meeting she proceeded to tell me that they needed me to contribute more funds to cover the expense for other side dishes and/ or groceries. I did not agree with that and reminded her that Michael and I had contributed a sack of crawfish; and too, I had offered to bring other items but was told that would not be necessary.

Upon exiting the meeting with her and another sister-in-law, I now presume was there as a witness, I go out to engage with other family members only to come to the realization that they were breaking down the tables and putting everything away.

Remember, I am in the flesh at this point in my life, so I wrote my sister-in-law at the time a letter with a tongue lashing with my usual agenda, to reduce her knee-high to a grasshopper. I was infuriated by her greed and audaciousness to milk me for money because she overspent, as always living above her means. I was hurt, because Michael and his family were being shunned, in my opinion, and this was a crude act of Satan’s agent who was perpetrating as a child of God, claiming to be this holier than thou person but her actions and words were glorifying none other than Satan. I distinctly recall pointing this out to her in my letter to her with a carbon copy to the witness that was present at the meeting.

I say all that to say that this was yet another means of my needing to know my creator. Here was a supposedly God fearing woman, a church goer, someone whom I had admire for her dedication to the Lord, but her demeanor did not align with God, being Christ like.

I didn’t care about the money, the hurt stemmed from the fact that Michael and his family did not get to sit and mingle, to engage with my side of the family.

Moving On

Looking back, even at this latest event, the bait of Satan was still evident; however, God prevailed. The saga’s continued to unfold, but through many acts of travailing’s God and His Holy Angels were paving the way for me, building bridges in some instances, and tearing down bridges in other instances by means of the Holy Spirit, all in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, our High Priest, our Intercessor.

So many blessings unfolded for me throughout this journey, too many to count and reflecting back on the many trials and tribulations, being tried and tested on so many levels, I overcame by the blood of Jesus Christ and now I wear God’s seal of approval, the baptism of the Holy Spirit, supernaturally administered by Jesus Christ.
 

1 John 4:4 Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁴ Little children (believers, dear ones), you are of God and you belong to Him and have [already] overcome them [the agents of the antichrist]; because He who is in you is greater than he (Satan) who is in the world [of sinful mankind].

Matthew 22:14 Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁴ For many are called (invited, summoned), but few are chosen.”